Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement and shame. It's a shield. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking that it will protect us when, in fact, it's the one thing that's really preventing us from taking flight.
Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Somewhere along the way we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Healthy striving is self-focused--how can I improve? Perfectionism is others-focused--what will they think?
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Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect.
Feeling shamed, judged and blamed are realities of the human experience. Perfectionism actually increases the odds that we'll experience these painful emotions and often leads to self=blame: It's my fault. I'm feeling this way because "I'm not good enough."
#goodenough #perfectdoesnotexist #perfectlyimperfection #ownyou #onlylove